HEY MEGHAN!!!!


You're so fine.

I'm not making any promises. I will not say "Hey, I'm back for good." No, no, no. I will say this, I am going to update whenever I am in a "quote mood" and feel like it. Whenever I see a large amount of quotes I'm liking and want to share them. That's when I post. So, please don't hassle me to update. It does no good.


Please don't act like you care.
You don't care, I know you don't,
You've watched me destroy myself for too long now,
If you really cared, you would have tried to stop it by now
(This quote was on my best friend's weight loss xanga. I can't help but feel like she's talking about me. I'm too scared to try to help her because then I'll have to confront my own issues with eating. Help me? Please.)



Real beauty is loving yourself
And that’s something
she could never do.

She's become self-destructive.
Hope you're proud of yourself now.

Staring in the mirror;
Looking back at the person I hate

You can tell
From the scars on my arms
And the stains on my skirt
And the dents in my car
And the veins about to burst
That I'm not the carefullest of girls

You can tell
From the glass on the floor
And the strings that are breaking
And I keep on breaking more
And it looks like I am shaking
But it's just the temperature
And then again
If it were any colder I could disengage
If I were any older I could act my age
But I don't think that you'd believe me
It's Not The Way I'm Meant To Be
It's just the way the operation made me

And you can tell
By the red in my eyes
And the bruises on my thighs
And the knots in my hair
And the bathtub full of flies
That I'm not right now at all
Don't call the doctors
Cause they've seen it all before
They'll say just
Let Her Crash And Burn
She'll learn
The attention just encourages her


My lips are screaming pretty nothings.
My ears are bleeding for a want of words.
Hope has left me shattered.

Almost giving up on trying
Almost heading for a fall
And now my mind is screaming out
I've gotta keep on fighting
But then again
It doesn't end

she's a little upset
she won't vent to anyone anymore
her problems aren't important and no one's listening
she's crying inside, but hey
she's beautiful, right?

and after a while you learn that you don't need anyone else in order to survive. no one is ever going to always be there, no matter what they say or what they promise you. you just gotta suck it up, accept it, and keep on keepin' on.
- Hey Arnold

Sorry it took a while. I've been a bit busy. Here is the 50 quote update that I promised. Thanks everyone for your support. =]



suck in my stomach.
pinch my waist.
spend hours touching up my ugly face.
all these things i fucking do..
don't make a difference.
i'm not perfect enough for you.


Over the years I've come to learn that things
don't always last forever... there's no such
thing as "perfect", & you'll hurt the ones
that you would never want to hurt. But
the important thing is find the people who
will love you with your mistakes.


you think i'm happy but i'm really not,
my smile must be the best lie that i've got


She now knows not to be so trusting in a world that never cared for her feelings.


Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming


To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life


A little girl with a tear streaked face,
She doesn't belong in this awful place.


As I sit here listening to that one song,
I know I should listen to the words & move on,
but I'm not sure I can let go.


Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding


Sometimes I feel so alone,
Like no one is around to talk to,
Like you were never there.


Nothing is real
And I want you to know
That I'm not alright
When you tear open my chest
I'll try not to flinch
Won't make promises
You taught me that.
I'm still losing what's left of my self esteem


Somebody once asked me, "Are you alone?",
when I was out with a large group of friends.
I took a step back and replied,
"The loneliest I've ever felt."


No more bleeding and crying
No more trying to hide
Because now you all can see
That I was already dead inside


I drift away to a place
Another kind of life
Take away the pain
I create my paradise


You'll never know how many times I've cried.
How many cuts I hide.
How many times I wished I would die.


It's hard when people ask
"Whats Wrong?".. and you don't
have an answer because
the truth is you don't know


Your name looks pretty in red, I say as the razor falls from my hand


some nights you wanna just
lay there and forget that
tomorrow's getting closer
and closer.


I wish you knew how much this hurts.
But then again, no, I don..t.
It'd be too embarrassing to have you know
that I cry at night, that I wish you were there,
that I pretend I'm holding your hand,
& that I relate all these sad songs to you.


Sometimes ..
those who give advice are in need of it most


Miracles have suddenly
completely ceased to exist
And darkness overcomes her
She no longer seems to resist


Sometimes you just put one foot in front
of the other, even if you don't know where
you're going.


I can feel my problems fade away
I'm glad i cut my wrist today
Now as my vision fades out
You're still all I think about

I see no good reason to act my age.


i prefer to be remembered as a smiling face
not this fucking wreck that's taking it's place.


I think sometimes you have to lose
someone completely before you can figure
out what they really mean to you...


Whenever a memory pops into your
head, you always have to wonder. How
many more times will I be able to remember
that? Will I ever remember that again?
How many times can you revisit a memory?


Did you ever feel like you should have said something smarter at that time, like you should have kept it all to yourself. Did you ever think it might be your fault and never promise anymore, that it might not be me. Now it was always me?


she swears there is nothing wrong;
but i hear her playing the same old song.


she's got a list of things she wants to
change about herself, because ever since
the day she met you, she's been a
mess of insecurities.

And when you're crying on your bed,
does it make you feel alive?

No, I've never seen myself like this before.
And maybe it scares me to know that
different things take different times
to fall apart, but they always do.
 

My head is screaming get a grip, girl
Unless you're dying to cry your heart out


They told me to find the girl i used to be.
I told them that girl doesn’t exist anymore.


she won't ever forget you.
you meant the world to her.
you can't forget people like that.


i am gone.
the person you see
isn't the real me
the real me gave up a long time ago
she couldn't take the constant pain anymore


All I wanted to do was collapse into
somebody's arms and cry today,
but nobody was there to catch me


when you ask "what's wrong"
and i always answer "nothing" with a frown of my face
you should know better than to believe me

The more you show your feelings,
the more people can find ways to hurt you.

she's done. no one ever cares about her, no ones ever there for her. she's sick of fighting against the world and herself. sick of crying tired of lying. no one cares that she feels like dying.

I'm a stitch away from making it and a scar away from falling apart

she doesn’t want to be like this, but she's not sure if she can stop. she hates who she is but she doesn’t know how to change. she's starting to fade away. maybe someone will care...someday.

But when you start to pick it apart,
it gets so depressed.
It's that sort of thing that
makes you think too much.
It's that sort of thing,
makes you lose your objectivity.

I'm not really shooting for a
successful relationship at this point,
I'm just looking for something that will prevent me
from throwing myself in front of a bus.
I'm keeping my expectations very low.

yeah she's bleeding , but don’t blame it on a knife , the only thing thats cutting her is this little thing called life.

just when you've had enough, life gives you more. And just when you think it's rained enough, it starts to pour.

well I don't know where I'll go now,
and I don't really care who follows me there.
but i'll burn every bridge that I cross,
and find some beautiful place to get lost.

Maybe I'm a little bit over my head
I come undone at the things you said

the worst, thats what life gave her
now she's just waiting for someone,
someone to save her.

She's got such a dirty mind and it never ever stops
And you don't taste like her and you never ever will
And we don't read the papers, we don't read the news
Heaven's never enough, we will never be fooled
And if you feel a little left behind
I will see you on the other side

Thank you for the comments. :]

its time you start to keep your head up.
its like that question about the cup. you
gotta start looking at it as half full & stop
worrying about the bullshit people pull

& as much as you hate to admit it,
theres an end to every friendship

And she'll continue to smile,
no matter how hurt she is.

you really shouldn't say, "i love you,"
unless you mean it, but if you mean it,
you should say it a lot. people forget.

Life holds more secrets than the human
mind can comprehend. goals are set &
a general pathway is determined. but it's
how we get there, that amazes us all.

It's hard to say you're sorry,
it hurts to say you were wrong,
but if kills to say good-bye,
then the lesson is truly learned.

True friendship isn`t about being there
when it`s convenient;
it`s about being there when it`s not.

Live your life knowing
you can rise above
what they think of you.

Now I'm not made for this,
The truth that she would not admit
The greatest falling stars are in her eyes,
Not in her lies.

There were many moments
we laughed and cried.
We always stood by each others side.
Those many days we spent together
will always stay in my heart forever.

This one's for
The one who dreams all day
Wishing that someone
Will just take them away
This one's for
The one who found their life long mate
But soon discovered
That being alone was their only fate
This one's for
The one whose heart beats black
Just because
They didn't like them back
This one's for
The one who wears long sleeves
To cover up the marks
Praying that no one sees
This one's for
The one who never cries
While thinking all day
How perfect it would be to die
This one's for
The one who lost their friends
Who said they be there always
And help them till the end
This one's for
The one who chose the knife
Thinking it would make things better
Hoping it would get them through this life
This one's for
The one who has no more tears
Because in their life
They've experienced all their fears
This one's for
The one who sits in the dark
Just so they can't see
Their arm and all the marks
This one's for
The one who wears a smile across their face
But deep down inside their dying
And dreaming of another place
This one's for
The one who lost their heart
All because someone lied
And tore it right apart
This one's for
The one who always dreams
Who dreams of a far away place
Where they can't hear the screams
This one's for the cutter
Who had no other way
But to choose the knife
To help them through each and every day

give me something worth living for.
tell me a reason worth fighting for.
give me anything,
anything to keep me breathing

she's that helpless little girl
too strong to let go
too weak to hold on.

she felt far from okay, but
sometimes the biggest lies slip
out easier than the truth

so you turn up the music
and try to block out the screams
you try to ignore your heart
as it crumbles and bleeds
the pain is too much
you can't take it anymore
and everytime you turn up the volume
you scream a little more

Please dont act like you care. You can't care.
I know you don't. You've watched me destroy
myself for too long now. If you really cared; you
would have tried to stop it by now

you see her as unbreakable, but believe it or not,
she does hurt and she does cry
and somehow
she's never satisfied.